A newborn at home means sleepless nights...which means more time to think about really dumb things about our football team.
- Colby Parkinson has, by far, the worst touchdown celebration on the team. I mean, just look at this monstrosity:
Like bro, do you even football? Act like you've been there before! Some posters in these parts have said Stanford runs a high school offense - an opinion I strongly disagree with - until Parkinson starts his damn Pop Warner celebration. Ok, fine, you're probably thinking yo Farmchair, give the kid a break. That clip was from last year and it was Park's first TD catch. Fair enough. But here we are this season, six touchdowns later:
Park bro, trust me. You gonna be a TD machine. Gotta learn how to play it smooth, like this:
- Feels like every CSR thread, if it goes on long enough, devolves into an argument about whether or not David Shaw is awesome. Or whether Shaw can be awesome and offensively challenged at the same time. That's all fine, but after watching the Ducks game it has become clear to me that that conversation is pointless...because love him or hate him, Coach Shaw has been anointed by God to deliver a championship to our football team this season. What else can possibly explain the not one but two divine interventions to send us to victory last Saturday - the first wrought by a handsome young man named Joseph, who left his family at a young age for a foreign land in the South, only to return and repeatedly test and mock them his old family until they bent in submission, and the second administered by a pure, strong-armed, and determined man named Noah, need I say more?
Which brings us to South Bend this Saturday. Make no mistake, my friends, this is a spiritual war. And while we may have no credible defense against the Holy Book and Touchdown Jesus, we saw against the Ducks anything is possible with God on your side. Believe me when I say that King David will have the troops ready for battle. And his men are fully bought in.
