First off... I am sorry to post this type of topic here for the members who do not want to read a 'downer' of a message... but I posted here back in September when I lost my father and it seemed to help me feel better typing it out. So, with horrible times, I will try it again... because this one hurts even more then the last.
Yesterday, my wife and I had to make that horrible decision to put down our wonderful, beautiful 'baby', our 'love' Sherman.
He was such a wonderful soul of a dog. He was a yellow labrador retriever and just about to turn 12 years old. He had gone through a number of ailments in the last couple years, but would always come through the issues wagging his tail and loving everyone around him. He also received the love back because everyone that came across Sherman...loved Sherman.
A week and a half ago, he suddenly experienced a serious vertigo episode for the first time. The vets were unsure of his condition but suspected it was vertigo (I cannot remember the official medical term). The experience for him and us parents was terrible. The confusion and fear he displayed, as he could barely walk or even lie upright was heartbreaking. But fortunately he made a quick recovery in a few days (apparently the quick recovery was not expected by the vets) and we thought he was over the hump once again. We took him into the vets (which he had now learned to become fearful of due to all of his visits in the last couple years and being poked and prodded) Thursday for the follow up for his vertigo issue. The staff was very impressed with his improvement and we parted with everyone thinking he was making it through this problem as well. Thursday afternoon and evening was wonderful. He was happy and his normal loving self. We said goodnight to him and he thumped his tail displaying his happiness as we kissed him on his head.
When my wife called out to me (as I was still in bed) yesterday morning that Sherman was refusing to get up, the fear and dread once again hit me like a truck. My wife found him lying in the exact same place, in the exact same body position telling us he had not moved for 8/9 hours. He refused to move and refused a treat when I tried to coax him up. The refusing to eat was the worst sign. Through all his previous issues (cancer surgery, chemo treatments and knee surgery) he NEVER lost his love and passion for food (as labradors are known for)... we suspected this was bad. We eventually got him up and he was once again unsteady, but not the same as the vertigo symptoms "unsteady". We eventually took him to our vets again and felt horrible when he recognized the location and began panting heavily and displaying his fear. The vets gave us their options of possibilities with 'putting him down' as one of a few... we knew no tests were going to give us any good results and knew deep down that euthanasia was the only answer to stop his suffering.
The process was very peaceful, but that truly does little for me and my sorrow right now. He was truly our 'baby', our 'love'.
Being retired for the last nine years, he did just about everything with me. He was in my universe of life 99% of the time. My wife and I found happiness and contentment with his happiness... he was no doubt our world.
Our world does not feel good now... I am struggling terribly with my emotions and not looking forward to anything in the future. This dark hole that my wife and I are now in is horrible. I know this is part of the normal mourning/grieving process, but this is so much harder then my father's passing. He had a long happy life... and knew what he was up against toward the end. Our loving dog looked to us to solve his "everything". This time, we could not help him AND keep him with us. We are simply devastated.
I am not a person of faith, so I cannot find help in that direction. I understand we are just beginning this grieving process and we will plod along one step at a time... but... this time the 'hurt' is beyond my understanding.
Yesterday, my wife and I had to make that horrible decision to put down our wonderful, beautiful 'baby', our 'love' Sherman.
He was such a wonderful soul of a dog. He was a yellow labrador retriever and just about to turn 12 years old. He had gone through a number of ailments in the last couple years, but would always come through the issues wagging his tail and loving everyone around him. He also received the love back because everyone that came across Sherman...loved Sherman.
A week and a half ago, he suddenly experienced a serious vertigo episode for the first time. The vets were unsure of his condition but suspected it was vertigo (I cannot remember the official medical term). The experience for him and us parents was terrible. The confusion and fear he displayed, as he could barely walk or even lie upright was heartbreaking. But fortunately he made a quick recovery in a few days (apparently the quick recovery was not expected by the vets) and we thought he was over the hump once again. We took him into the vets (which he had now learned to become fearful of due to all of his visits in the last couple years and being poked and prodded) Thursday for the follow up for his vertigo issue. The staff was very impressed with his improvement and we parted with everyone thinking he was making it through this problem as well. Thursday afternoon and evening was wonderful. He was happy and his normal loving self. We said goodnight to him and he thumped his tail displaying his happiness as we kissed him on his head.
When my wife called out to me (as I was still in bed) yesterday morning that Sherman was refusing to get up, the fear and dread once again hit me like a truck. My wife found him lying in the exact same place, in the exact same body position telling us he had not moved for 8/9 hours. He refused to move and refused a treat when I tried to coax him up. The refusing to eat was the worst sign. Through all his previous issues (cancer surgery, chemo treatments and knee surgery) he NEVER lost his love and passion for food (as labradors are known for)... we suspected this was bad. We eventually got him up and he was once again unsteady, but not the same as the vertigo symptoms "unsteady". We eventually took him to our vets again and felt horrible when he recognized the location and began panting heavily and displaying his fear. The vets gave us their options of possibilities with 'putting him down' as one of a few... we knew no tests were going to give us any good results and knew deep down that euthanasia was the only answer to stop his suffering.
The process was very peaceful, but that truly does little for me and my sorrow right now. He was truly our 'baby', our 'love'.
Being retired for the last nine years, he did just about everything with me. He was in my universe of life 99% of the time. My wife and I found happiness and contentment with his happiness... he was no doubt our world.
Our world does not feel good now... I am struggling terribly with my emotions and not looking forward to anything in the future. This dark hole that my wife and I are now in is horrible. I know this is part of the normal mourning/grieving process, but this is so much harder then my father's passing. He had a long happy life... and knew what he was up against toward the end. Our loving dog looked to us to solve his "everything". This time, we could not help him AND keep him with us. We are simply devastated.
I am not a person of faith, so I cannot find help in that direction. I understand we are just beginning this grieving process and we will plod along one step at a time... but... this time the 'hurt' is beyond my understanding.
